Cassandra?'s Blog
HAVE MERCY!!! ch.6 Why, Sunshine?
Tom's Recapped POV I quietly whispered in Cassie's ear, "Sunshine," she jumped and tossed in her sleep-like she were having a nightmare. "It's okay, there's nothing to be afraid of; I'm here." She sighed calmly in her sleep, then her eyes fluttered open. She turned to see me, and she smiled. When she blinked tears rolled down her eyes, and soon they wouldn't stop.
Why, Sunshine? Tom's Present POV I looked into Cassie's eyes, becoming blurry from the tears; I wiped each cheek with my thumb. "Cassie," I hushed her, "It's okay." I pulled her close to me, she rested her head on my shoulder, and I rubbed her back. I pulled her away to look at her. Why is she crying!? I panicked in my mind, struggling for the answer of what to do. Everyone was in the gas station yet.. Should I call someone for help? I brushed the bangs from her eyes and asked with the fear very evident in my voice, "Why is my sunshine crying?" She threw her arms around me and held me tighter, as if she were genuinely afraid. She was even shaking a little. She mumbled into my shoulder, but I couldn't make out a word. I rubbed her back reassuringly and asked again. She turned her head away from me, while it was still resting on my shoulder. She said, "I was afraid that you would leave me." WHAT!?
HAVE MERCY!!! ch.5 (part 2) Wake Up Sunshine
Katie's Recapped POV
His lack of answer gave me all the information that I needed. Cassie still didn't know. She didn't know that Tom was madly in love with her. She didn't know where we were going. She didn't know that we were all having silent conversations about her.
She didn't know what was going on, and it was killing her.
"Wake Up Sunshine"
Cassie's Present POV
I finally had given up on trying to get one of them to answer my begging and pleading, and even all the threats and blackmail I used to help me-none had worked. I just realized that I was still holding Tom's hand. I looked back at him. He was staring out the window sadly; I'm guessing that he's angry that he's left in the dark too. Well, at least I'm not alone.
I smiled to myself and let go of his hand. I wiped my hand on my jeans-Tom's hand was extremely warm and it was perspiring. I wasn't disgusted or grossed out, in fact, it was cute; I only wiped my hand because it was getting rather uncomfortable.
I put my hand back waiting for him to grab it, after ten seconds he realized that I was offering my hand back, he took it and held it as tightly as if he would never let go. There was the tiniest hint of a smile in his eyes, but I didn't see it on his face. I started to close my eyes. I was thinking about life, and waiting for sleep to come whisk me away and rescue me.
I had that out of body experience again. I looked at myself sleeping, and Tom staring sadly, yet dreamily out the window. I saw Matt and Mickey all cuddled up-a perfect Kodak moment! *3 cheers for blackmail* I saw Katie and Paige who were in deep discussion, but I couldn't make out any of the words. My mind started to drift further and further away from reality. The only real thing I knew was the hand tightly holding mine, and the trust I had that he would never let go.
Tom's POV
Cassie's breathing was quiet and deep. She tossed and turned in her sleep, but her hand was always in mine. I tried to take it out, but she squeezed it in her sleep. I don't know how to tell her everything. I know she loves me, but it's not the same, and I don't want to hurt her. I would also really love not to hurt myself either. To make myself vulnerable to rejection, to see her eyes filled with pity or disgust.. I shuddered.
I moved the hair out of her face and grabbed my pillow from the back and laid her head on it. She whispered in her sleep, but I didn't catch what she said. It looked like Brandon did though; he looked back in the sun visor mirror at her, then at me. He didn't look angry, but curious.. and bewildered at the same time.
I wanted so desperately to know what Cassie had said. I wanted to ask B-Real, but knowing how he is with Cassie, he wouldn't tell me the truth.. He has stopped numerous boys from dating Cassie, most came to him for advice first (because he's the closest to Cassie) and Brandon either tore them down, lied to them, or scared them. He couldn't really stop how I felt for her. Sure, it created some tension, but we're best friends, and nothing-not even his sister-could get between our friendship.
Two hours later, we pulled up to a gas station in the middle of nowhere. Nate told me to wake everyone up, then he stepped outside to fill the van. Everyone had fallen asleep but him and me. I nudged Mike who was sitting next to me cuddled up with Matt. I laughed, "Get up!" They stirred and realized who the other was holding, and jumped up. Matt and Mike quickly both said something 'manly' and they each woke up Paige and Katie. Brandon had already run inside to use the bathroom, and Matt and Mike quickly followed.
I quietly whispered in Cassie's ear, "Sunshine," she jumped and tossed in her sleep-like she were having a nightmare. "It's okay, there's nothing to be afraid of; I'm here." She sighed calmly in her sleep, then her eyes fluttered open. She turned to see me, and she smiled. When she blinked tears rolled down from her eyes, and soon they wouldn't stop.
HAVE MERCY!!! ch.5 (part 1) What She Doesn't Know Could Kill Her
Nate’s recapped POV
I backed up the van and gave a questioning glance to Katie in the rear view mirror. She shook her head with a no and smiled sneakily; a laugh passed her lips.
There went my heart again..
"What She Doesn't Know Could Kill Her"
Katie's present POV
In all seriousness, Nate gives me a major case of the butterflies, i swear, his cute and shy smile just makes me melt! Speaking of melting.. It was so hot in the van, and the a/c is up all the way.
When we got in the car, he looked at me. We can practically talk to each other with no words at all. We all have our secret ways of communication. It comes in handy, very very very often. He asked me if Cassie knew about the plan.
Cassie has no idea what we're doing, and from what i can tell, the guys decided to not let Tom in on the plan either. That was a smart move (a rare one i might add), considering that we all know that he would tell her.
I love being able to hold this over her, it's so amusing! I stifled a laugh and was able to catch Nate's eyes in the mirror, he gave me a wink. How can someone be so perfect!?!
Paige
B-Real was jumping around in his seat. He was so restless! Almost like he was little boy, and let me tell you, it drives me crazy! I don' t even know if its a good or bad thing!
He's egotistical and yet pays me endless compliments, and he's charming, yet can be hilariously disgusting the next second. He is never boring. I often times catch myself dreaming of him. They're pretty weird fantasies... I cringed outwardly and got a glance from Matt.
"You okay Paige," he asked, his genuine concern was shown in his voice and in his eyes.
"I'm just fine!" I reassured him.
"Alright," he smiled and went back to talking with Tom and Mikey.
"Where are we going!?!?!" Cassie continued to whine and fuss. We all had tuned her out long ago, I guess she was still at it.
"You'll see when we get there!" Brandon answered, her voice must have gotten through his barrier also.
Cassie hung her head, and sighed. She looked out the window. I turned around to ask Mikey something, but before i opened my mouth I saw Tom. It wasn't that i just saw Tom, I saw his hand, which was entwined with Cassie's who was sitting right next to me.
I spun around faster than I should have and my elbow flew right into Katie's side. "I'm sorry!" I quickly said.
"It's okay, Paige," she rubbed her side, a look of pain displayed on her face, "What's up?" She knew that I knew something. She also knew that I would tell, but it had to be done in secret! This is done via texting! God bless technology!
Katie's POV
My side ached, but I saw Paige's face. The face that said "I know something juicy, so juicy that I shouldn't tell, but I know that I really really want to" face. Her lips made an "O" after I pulled out my phone and pointed to it. She grabbed hers, and with fingers as fast as lightning texted 7 pages.
I got the text. Most of it was just her usual rant (it ended with cupcakes this time). The main topic (or beginning of rant) was the juicy stuff. Cassie and Tom were holding hands. I glanced nonchalantly to the other window and Paige's text was confirmed %100 truth. Wow! How and when did this happen!? We just saw her not even a few days ago! I looked back, I just couldn't help myself.
I saw Tom, staring out the back window. He looked somewhat dreamy, but had a very disappointed disposition. If everything that was going through my mind was true, and that maybe he finally did gather enough courage to tell her how he felt, then knowing Tom, he shouldn't look depressed when they're holding hands. Something was up. I pulled my cell out of my pocket and quickly texted a "?" to Tom.
*BUZZZZ* *BUZZZZ* *BUZZZZ*
Tom grabbed for his phone, he would have normally used the one he was holding Cassie's hand with, but he maneuvered with his right hand to get his cell out of his left pocket. He looked up at me for an explanation for the question mark; I nodded to his hand. He looked at his shoes, and didn't look back up.
His lack of answer gave me all the information that I needed. Cassie still didn't know. She didn't know that Tom was madly in love with her. She didn't know where we were going. She didn't know that we were all having silent conversations about her.
For how smart Cassie was.. She didn't know what was going on, and it was killing her.
HAVE MERCY!!! ch.4 (Packing in Secret)
Cassie’s recapped POV
“You need another bag!?” Tom asked Brandon. He knew that he already had 5 in the back, which was 3 more than the rest of them had packed.
“Nope,” Brandon added, “But you do!” He grabbed my arm and pulled me in the van, slamming the door and telling Nate to step on it.
Cassie’s present POV
“Brandon!” I squealed excitedly, “What’s this all about!?” I hugged my fuzzy green pillow; he knows it’s my favorite.
“Oh,” he said, trying and failing to act confused, “Hmm.. I don’t know!” Matt, Nate, and Michael grinned; they all were obviously in on something.
Tom smiled too, but he still looked confused. I’m guessing he was just playing along. He quickly gave up his façade, “Yeah, what’s going on!?”
I was anxious! Does this mean that they aren’t going on tour!? I sure hope not! Tom squirmed next to me, he was a little ticked to be left alone in the dark, but he was obviously happy that I’m along for the ride. He “yawned” and stretched his arm over my shoulder. Wow, what a kidder! I poked his belly and he hiccupped the cutest laugh, but then took his arm from around me and looked disappointingly out the window to his right.
Wow, he confuses me. He may not do it intentionally, but come ON!!! I turned to face the other window, and that’s when I realized we were driving down Ocean Avenue. I jumped over the seat in front of me (I was in the back) and I landed on Matt and Michael’s laps.
“Hey there beautiful,” Mike did a model pose and pulled me close making a kissy face.
“AHH!! Michael!!” I pushed him back and he convulsed in laughter. I slid off their laps so that I was in between the two front seats (between Nate and Brandon).
“Nate,” I started, but stopped. We pulled up to a red brick house, with most of the front yard torn up, and gardening tools strewn about.
“Oh My GAWD!!!” I screamed! I jumped up and hit my head, sending Mickey into another spasm. Tom got up from his seat, ducking and opened the side door for me.
“Watch your head,” he smiled, with his real smile. I did a double take, but before I turned my head back again I was blindsided by two brightly coloured girls.
“CASSIE!!!” they both screamed.
“KATIE! PAIGE! What’s going on!?!?” I hugged the sisters tightly. We all jumped up and down, they were ecstatic. I knew something was up.
“Oh,” Katie said teasingly, she was so much like my brother sometimes, it was hilarious, “You’ll see.”
“Come on!” I begged, “Please, please, please, please, please!?!?!” I turned to Paige for pity; she just smiled shaking her head.
“But, you have to help us with our bags,” Paige skipped off the torn up yard happily; her pink skinnies seemed to be reflecting the sunlight. (The reason the yard was like this is because we all planted blue grass for the heck of it about two days ago.)
“Yeah, and trust me, she didn’t pack light,” Katie warned.
“Oh don’t worry, Brandon wasn’t all that light of a packer either,” I smiled and walked to the door with Katie. I stopped in the entryway, and 8 bags blocked the path to us.
“Whoa,” I stammered, “I—I—is this all Paige’s!?”
“No, no, no,” Katie reassured me, “Those are Paige’s bags,” she pointed to a mountain of bags to the right of the eight I now assumed were Katie’s.
“You guys, I don’t think we can fit these all in the van,” I felt strained and tired just thinking of lugging all those to the van.
“They have a trailer,” Paige and Katie whined.
“Their amps and equipment are back there,” I started, “I only have one bag, and I don’t even know what’s all in it. Brandon packed it for me, in about five minutes.” They both looked at me shocked.
“Hey,” I laughed, “I didn’t even know I was going anywhere!”
“Fine,” they ripped open every bag and decided what was important and needed. About half an hour later they had everything packed in to two bags each, with one extra duffle for makeup and hair products.
“Alright, ready to go?” I asked. They both smiled and nodded. We walked out the door, and Nate honked the horn impatiently, it was probably the 10th or 11th time.
“We’re coming, we’re coming!” Katie laughed and waved to him, Nate instantly sat up straighter and smiled. Paige and I looked at each other knowingly. Nothing has happened between those two, but we both know how they feel.
Nate’s POV
“How long should it take them to haul out a couple bags?” Brandon whined.
“Brandon,” Nate laughed, “They’re teenage girls, just think, you brought five bags..”Brandon’s eyes widened, and then he laughed.
“I think I did the right thing in packing for Cassie,” he laughed again.
“Then when we get there Cassie will be whining because you packed everything she didn’t need!” Tom said, he had a distant look in his eyes. Brandon looked back at him. There was a hint of hostility in his tone when he told Tom to shut up, but then he laughed again (I suspected he did this to cover up the tone I had noticed.) Mike and Matt shrunk lower in their seats between Brandon and Tom. They too knew. There’s been a little bit of hostility between Brandon and Tom recently, they had a long talk, but we could only guess what was said..
The front door slammed and the colourful girls walked out of the house. They reminded me of the PowerPuff Girls. Cassie was in her lime green skinnies, Paige smiling in her pink ones, and last Katie was wearing sky neon blue skinnies. I smiled and she waved at me. I heard her laugh, and my heart couldn’t help but skip a couple beats.
Brandon shouted out the window, “You prima donnas ready yet?” Paige glared jokingly at him, and then flirtily batted her eyelashes. They threw the rest of their bags in the trailer and piled in the car.
Michael and Matt moved from the middle seats to the back with Tom. Katie, Paige, and Cassie all squished on the bench, giggling uncontrollably. I backed up the van and gave a questioning glance to Katie in the rearview mirror. She shook her head with a no and smiled sneakily; a laugh passed her lips.
There went my heart again..
HAVE MERCY!!! ch.3 (Confusing Surprise or Surprising Confusion)
Tom’s Recapped POV
I turned back to head to the house, but Cassie caught my wrist. She intertwined her fingers in mine and I felt shocked. She must’ve seen it on my face, because she giggled, and kissed my cheek. “I heart you too Tom.”
If only she knew...
"Confusing Suprise or Surprising Confusion"
Cassie’s Present POV
We walked back to the house hand in hand. Tom is so adorable, I know he really cares about me, he’s just, acting really strange lately.. And now he’s quiet altogether. “Tom, what’s up, is something the matter?”
“Nope, it’s all good sunshine,” he smiled half-heartedly.
“If something was bothering you, you can tell me hon, you know that right?” I reassured him with a squeeze of his hand. I cannot figure him out. He’s so back and forth.. I don’t know if that even makes sense!! He drives me crazy.. and I don’t know why! I feel sometimes sick to my stomach around him..
We walked up to the house and right away were greeted by Brandon. “Hey, uhm,” he looked up at Tom, with a question in his eyes. Tom shook his head and looked down. Suddenly Brandon was more chipper, “Well, are we ready to go then?”
Michael jumped up behind Brandon. His eyes immediately darted to my hand, which was still holding Tom’s. His head looked down as quickly as it spotted my hand. Tom noticed his gesture and dropped my hand, giving me an awkward pat on the back. What is going on!?
I walked to the porch steps and sat down next to Nate. Nate gave me a notebook and a pencil.
“What’s this for?” I asked.
“You’re creative,” he smiled, “I know you’ll think of something. OH! And I want you to write letters, they’re way more personal then emails, I prefer them by far.”
“Thank you so so so so much! Nate, you’re the greatest!” I tackled him with a huge hug, he is so protective of me, and I would consider him my second brother.
“ I try,” he laughed, hugging me back.
I felt like crying again. This was the time for goodbyes. I hate goodbyes. I can’t bear to be away from these people, my family for more than a day, and now I’ll have to be away from them for a whole summer.
I’m really proud of them, don’t get me wrong. They’re going to be great on their tour! I’m so excited for them! (I promote them all over the place, including the many sites to which I am a member.)
Michael, he makes me smile without even trying. He is so silly, he loves to make me laugh, and he’s really good at it too. He also makes me feel safe, he’s really strong, and not to mention cute! I mean just look at those adorable curls!
Nate, of course I’ll miss my second brother. I’ll miss his advice. Yes, I’ll be on the phone with him for at least an hour ever day or two.. but its not the same as our heart-to-heart talks in person.. I’ll miss him so much.
Matt. Wow!! I’ll miss him so much!!! He’s the life of any party, and he’s such a helpful and caring person. He remembers everything I tell him, even just random comments. Last year for my birthday he got me everything I wanted, and I didn’t even tell him I wanted it. I asked him how he knew. He just smiled and answered, “I listen.”
Tom, he is one of the closest people to me out of the gang. I feel so comfortable with him. I mean, well, I feel comfortable with all of them, but I don’t really know.. Tom makes me feel so different. I’m comfortable around him with everything, I can be standing in front of him in my pj’s and without any makeup on.. And I know he won’t mind. In fact that has happened, and he commented me. In that state!!! He commented me on my beautiful eyes.. My eyes without the eyeliner that I cannot live without.. and he said they were beautiful. I just feel comfortable with him. He’s so sweet and caring. I love him. Just thinking of him makes me smile.
Brandon, I can’t even begin to describe how much I’ll miss my brother. The obnoxious early morning wake-up’s.. The songs he’d pin up on my door with a little note asking me for my opinion.. The random drives through the park, the random shopping trips.. Everything!!! I’ll probably cry the next mornings later to come this week, without him there to eat breakfast with me. Without him being there to steal all the marshmallows from my Lucky Charms, or the berries from my Captain Crunch.
After all the hugs, and my eyeliner streaked goodbyes. All the hair tousles and last minute errands for me to do for them. I made a mental note of each. They all piled into the van. This happened all so fast. My life was on fast-forward again.. and all I could do is watch. The out-of-body experience was just starting to overwhelm me again when they all waved out the windows, and Matt pressing his face up against it to make a piggy nose. I laughed through my tears, with a pathetic sob. They started to back out of the driveway, leaving me in the yard.
Then the van stopped. The passenger door opened, and Brandon jumped out. “What did you forget this time?” Nate called out to him from behind the wheel. Brandon disappeared into the house, it wasn’t until 5 minutes later he emerged with my black hellokitty bag in hand.
“Uhm,” I looked at him questioningly, “Brandon! That’s my bag!”
“You need another bag!?” Tom asked Brandon. He knew that he already had 5 in the back, which was 3 more than the rest of them had packed.
“Nope,” Brandon added, “But you do!” He grabbed my arm and pulled me in the van, slamming the door and telling Nate to step on it.
HAVE MERCY!!! ch.2 (I ♥ Cassie)
Cassie’s recapped POV:
“Tom, it’s oka—” I started to say, but he cut me off.
“It’s not okay! Stop saying it’s okay!”
My phone buzzed.. and buzzed.. and buzzed. It was the only noise in the silence. Tom dropped my hands and looked at my pocket which lit up with the light of my phone. “You better answer that,” he said and then walked a couple feet away and traced circles in the gravel of the alleyway with his shoes.
"WHERE ARE YOU!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!"
"I ♥ Cassie"
Tom's Present POV:
I didn't know if Cassie was actually that naive.. Through all these years you think that she would have noticed by now.. Any normal person would have.. But that’s why I liked her. Cassie wasn’t normal, she was different, and we all reminded her of that regularly. She would only reply, “Well, being normal is so overrated! Where’s the fun in that?”
I looked over at her, she was chatting away on her cell phone. Her red hair seemed really bright in the sunlight; she was gorgeous. It’s a miracle how she doesn’t have a boyfriend.. I’m way out of my league I guess.. And the internal argument began again…
I traced miscellaneous words and shapes into the gravel. I don’t know how long I had been doing that, and I don’t know how long Cassie had been off the phone, but she just stood there, watching me. Her face looked intrigued, or puzzled, she looked at me like that more than any other expression. She looked as if she were trying to figure me out.
Everyone else knows how I feel about Cassie, but before we left I wanted to tell her how I felt. I just wanted to get it out of my system. I know that she doesn’t like me back, so I thought that by doing it now, well I can get over her faster.. She can reject me, and we can be done, and by the next time I see her, well hopefully she would have forgotten about the whole incident. I won’t see her much this summer, as opposed to seeing her everyday like I normally do. The guys all advised against me telling her. Brandon said that he didn’t want his sister to get hurt, he’s the only one who thinks that Cassie may like me back. And well.. Brandon is afraid that if I tell Cassie now, and it turns out she does like me back, then I’ll leave.. and it would break her heart.
I don’t want to break Cassie’s heart. I know for a fact that she doesn’t feel the same about me. I love her, and I just want her to know that. Even if she doesn’t feel the same, I will, and I think I always will.
“Cassie,” I loved saying her name. It gave me a major case of the butterflies.
“Yeah Tom?” she bit her lower lip and looked up to me, tilting her head to the side.
“Uhmmm..,” After all the times I had rehearsed this scene in my head! All the countless times of running the lines I’d say! All the responses she could deliver!!!! If only I could ask… “Who was on the phone?” I am such a coward..
“Oh, it was Brandon, he was just wondering where we had wandered off to,” she added quietly, “He sounded rather worried.” This is to be expected of him.. He knows what I was planning to do.. if only I could do it though.
I tried to come up with something quick, to bring it back to that moment! It was a one time chance.. And it was ruined, “Brandon can be such a worrier,” I tried to smile, but I felt sullen, and tired..
“Yeah,” she half smiled, and looked very thoughtful, “he is isn’t he?” She stared at the ground, and at the words I had traced, looking confused.
I glanced down, and read what I had thoughtlessly traced with my foot. I could have died… I didn’t want to see her face, and I didn’t want to know her reaction. My face felt hot and then I faced my fear and looked at her.
She was still looking at the ground, but she didn’t look confused, in fact, she was smiling. The first real smile I had seen from her that day. She shook her head then looked up at me. Oh, here it comes..
“Tom,” she started, I could already feel that my face was red, “You’re really something you know that?”
That was all?! That was all she had to say to that!?!!?! Well, at least it wasn’t bad, but..
I smiled shyly and replied, “Not yet.”
“What do you mean?” she asked with a puzzled look.
CRAP! I didn’t mean to reply with that…I wanted to so desperately say something.. ANYTHING! I was searching for something romantic, or something to tell her how I felt with few words, but powerful words. I reached to the back of my brain, and angrily, I mentally kicked myself for lack of response. Now I had been standing there for what seems like ages. I should have said something like, ‘I’m not something yet, but I’ll make something out of myself, and I would like you to be a part of that with me.’ But, as I have said, I am a coward.
I cleared my throat, “Uh, never mind,” yes, I am a pathetic loser, “Let’s go back, Brandon is probably about to call the police.”
I turned back to head to the house, but Cassie caught my wrist. She intertwined her fingers in mine and I felt shocked. She must’ve seen it on my face, because she giggled, and kissed my cheek. “I heart you too Tom.”
If only she knew...
HAVE MERCY!!! Introduction & Ch.1
♥MERCY MERCEDES♥
Heyyy! My name is Cassie, and I love the colour green! And.. I would like to say:
Welcome to My Boring Life
This is when my life starts to get interesting.. or.. should I say:
"Chapter One: Getting Interesting"
FIRST OFF!!! INTRODUCTION TO CHARACTERS!
ME!!! My name is Cassie! Cassie Krayonz.. no joke. lol.
My friend Paige! Paige Guido (Gwee-doh)
My friend Katie! Katie Nest
♥BRANDON! or ($B-Real$) my brother.. (: i love him
He is an amazing guitarist & has a pretty good singing voice
♥Tom! he plays Bass ^_^ he's such a sweetheart
♥Michael or (Micky Icky) (Mikey) he's so silly
and a great drummer!
♥Nate one of the coolest guys i know!
He's so down to earth, and has an AMAZING singing voice!
♥Matt or (Matt Love) lol he's crazy
and also a great guitar player
♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥
or... AKA: MERCY MERCEDES!
it goes (LEFT TO RIGHT)..
Michael, Nate, Tom,
Brandon, Matt
“Oh my goodness..” I laughed as Brandon jumped off the roof of our house.
WOAHHHH!!! I know what you’re probably thinking.. What did I just start reading?! Please bear with me.. I kinda suck at this.
(Don’t worry; it’s a short roof. He also landed on a beat up mattress.)
“Brandon, I’m going to miss you. Ya know that?” I told him, as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He lifted me into the air and sat me on the top of his yellow sports car.
The car, it holds so many memories; crazy drives around town, random epic adventures, he even let me drive a couple times. All the memories of past summers, and the memories of summers I’ll dwell on this year, because a memory is all I’ll have this summer.
"I know lil' sis! I'll miss you too! So much!" he tousled my hair affectionately. I stayed on the car, watching this chapter of my life unfold. This chapter would be so empty, boring, and lonely without my big brother beside me. Brandon went back into the house and up the flight of stairs to his bedroom. Seated on top of the car, I could see him through his window. He looked helplessly around his room, he didn’t want to leave, I could tell. He ducked down and after 5 minutes three more duffle bags flew out the window, landing safely on the conveniently placed mattress.
A gray van pulled up. They were here. I didn’t move one inch from my spot. I watched my surroundings as if I weren’t there. As if I couldn’t respond to anything, as if I were looking down rather than experiencing any of it myself. The sun was really blinding and hot, but I had my tank top on and shorts. I laid down on the top of the car, propping my head up in my hands; a better view of my new depressing chapter..
The guys all jumped out of the van. First was Tom, then Matt, Nate, and last was Michael. These guys: Amazing, talented, funny, outgoing, good-natured, good-looking, and friendly. They’re my closest friends. I don’t know why I wasn’t moving from my spot, I don’t know why I didn’t jump to greet them, or wish them good luck. I don’t know why..
Tom was the first to greet me. He squatted down so that he was eyelevel with me lying on the car. “Hey sunshine,” he smiled shyly. I don’t know why he’s so shy around me yet; the guys just say he’s like that.
“Hey Tom,” I managed to say. Surprisingly, he wasn’t bothered by my lack of enthusiasm, and by my lack of words (I am usually very talkative.)
“Sunshine?” he asked, “Why do you look so glum?” he was trying to get me to smile, and I couldn’t. Even though he was playing his cute-routine card. I didn’t break. I couldn’t smile.
“Tom,” I said, “Someone stole my smile,” I answered sadly.
“Nuh-uh, honey, no one can steal your smile!” the right corner of his mouth turned up in a sort-of half smile that made his blue eyes sparkle, “You’ve got the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.”
“Tom,” I couldn’t help but smile a little at that, “How’d you get to be so sweet?”
“Years of practice, love,” he laughed and reached up to tousle my hair, but I blocked his arm before he could. He laughed and poked my side.
“Hey Tom! Help us with the bags!” Nate called after him. They threw Brandon’s bags into the back of the van. I saw a couple cases (guitar and cymbal cases) back there, along with the rest of Michael, Nate, Tom and Matt’s bags. I could tell that the yellow bags were Michael’s; it’s his favorite colour.
They loaded the rest of the bags in the van and Brandon’s guitar, the guitar I had named Akane-Aika (which translates to Bright Red Love Song in Japanese.) I named it this because its red, he calls it “Double A” for short sometimes.
The rest was like a blurry dream.. I don’t really remember what was all going on. Simple things stick out in my memory: Michael laughing, shaking his head furiously (which made his curls bounce around) at something that Nate had said. Michael pushing him back, then flexing his extremely toned arms and wiggling his eyebrows at me. I think I laughed. Nate talked to me about visiting as often as possible. Brandon pulling me off the car to which I held on for dear life. Everyone joining in to help him pull me off. Everyone throwing me on the mattress. Tom playing with my pigtails, and Michael showing off. Nate consoling me. Matt doing crazy stunts for the heck of it.
One of my last summer memories and I wasn’t all there..
OK! So if you don’t know what’s all going on. They’re all going on tour, which is why they’re all packed up in a van. They like to stall, and want to have a fun goodbye, one that won’t be as likely to end in tears, which is what they know will happen either way..
It was already past 8 and we all ate grilled cheese. I was willing to make it; I was glad to. It would be my last time for a long time to make them a simple meal. They won’t be eating so much home-cooked food on the road. We sat on the green grass lawn, the sky was still pretty light, and the cars on the street seemed to go by faster than normal. Time just started to speed up. I felt helpless, and I couldn’t do anything. I can’t stop time, I can’t even slow it down by a second.
Matt did the dishes. Well, he took all our paper plates and threw them in the garbage can. He’s a really helpful guy, and will do anyone a favor.
Nate’s pink shirt matched the flamingo yard ornament posted only 5 feet from where he was sitting. Brandon, Michael, and Matt were in deep discussion about their first concert.
“Cassie,” Tom stood up and held out his right hand to help me up.
“Thanks,” I said, taking hold of his hand, “What’s up?” I stood and shook my legs, I had been sitting for a while and they had fallen asleep.
“Take a walk with me?” he asked, sounding a little helpless.
“Yeah, sure,” to assure him I grabbed his hand, and he led the way around the house and we started to walk down the back alley. We reached the end, still in silence.
“Tom?” I asked, “What’s up? You need to talk?” I was so confused.
“I’m really sorry we’re leaving you like this,” he said, not quite looking at me.
“It’s okay!” I told him, smiling (partially fake), “This is great! You will get your name out! You’ll also make some money on the side,” I nudged him; we’re all pretty pathetic when it comes to money.
“Cassie, no,” he said. Tom turned to me and grabbed my other hand. He stood there holding both my hands in his, and staring intently in my eyes. He looked scared, and determined.
“Tom, it’s oka—” I started to say, but he cut me off.
“It’s not okay! Stop saying it’s okay!”
My phone buzzed.. and buzzed.. and buzzed. It was the only noise in the silence. Tom dropped my hands and looked at my pocket which lit up with the light of my phone. “You better answer that,” he said and then walked a couple feet away and traced circles in the gravel of the alleyway with his shoes.
"WHERE ARE YOU!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!"
O_O *I hope you like it*
♥Cassie...
ENDER of This Can't be Happening...
then jon kissed me.. and then ryan found out. they fueded for a while. lol. then jon and i had a thing for a while. the whole time we had our thing.. ryan sent me all these signals.. he still loved me. and always would.
jon knew this too.. so he decided to give up.
they both loved me.. and i couldn't choose.. and it killed me. but i chose to be with neither of them.. we all were friends, with mixed feelings.. with me getting the most of them. it was depressing at many times. it was exhilarating.. and i sometimes wish it were different.
but. "you only fall in love once." i dont know how i got all screwed in this situation... for it to happen twice.. And AT THE SAME TIME!?!?!?! fate must hate me... i love them both. and will till i die.
*you have no idea how true this is in my life* <<<<<<<<< well.. maybe a few of you do.
ty for reading my story! i will now be startin a new one! wayyy better than my younger-self one! ^_^ teehee.. i was lil when i started this story... as i can see from the many gramatical and spelllllliing errerz
HEHE!
thakyou allll *silly me* I LOVE YOU!!!!!
A.1. This Can't Be Happening... Ch. 21
jon's POV
the security guard pushed on her chest and ryan plugged her nose and breathed into her mouth.
this was repeated 4 times
she opened her eyes and coughed
the fan girls were all quieted and sent out of the pool area
cassie started to cry and wrapped her arms around ryan in a tight embrace
ryan was still shaking. he was so terrified
cassie buried her head in his shoulder
"i thought i'd never see you again"-ryan confessed and held her closer
i was silent still
"hey jon, you okay?"-spencer asked
"yea, i'm just fine"
the security guards helped us up to our room.. stupid fan girls
"oh crap, the pizza's probably gone by now"-spencer wanted to life people's spirits with humor. we all laughed. katie's and bren's appetites were well known.
"shoot my purse is by the pool"-cassie jumped out of the elevator.
"i'll get it"-i held the door for her
"its okay jon, i know where it is"
"cass i don't want you to go there alone, have jon go with you"-ryan said
cassie looked back at him.
"hurry before one of the fan girls steals it"-he said
once we got to the lobby i had just realized something.
"frick. they're gonna attack either you or me. or both. again"
"disguise yourself"-cassie grabbed a coat from the chair behind the concierge's desk
"now what? they can still see my face"-i pointed out to her
"quick turn around someone is coming"-she said, and turned me so i faced the wall
"do you think they'll recognize you?"-i asked her, she cringed
"i hope not"
as we walked into the pool area i stood on the other side of her to block her from other's view
"hey, do i know you from somewhere?"-a girl in a strapless bikini walked up to me, i didn't look at her, my head was faced the other direction
"uh. nope"-i said in a deep voice "help me"-i mouthed to cassie
we were just about to walk through the door. we were so close
"are you sure?"-she tried to step in front of me and i turned the other way
"not unless you've been to uh... um. Minanic Pennsylvania"-i stumbled, cassie couldn't help but smile at that.
the girl's friend walked up next to her. "who's your friend?" she asked her
"i don't know, i thought it was someone else"-she said
"his hair looks a lot like jon's from Panic"-her friend confirmed
"ya, that's what i thought, but they're probably long gone by now"-she said
"but she's familiar"-they finally realized cassie was standing only 4 feet from them
"aren't you friends with Ryan?"-they asked in unison
"um. no. uh, never heard of him"-she also stumbled, they rolled their eyes.
"never heard of Ryan Ross? didn't he just perform CPR on you not 2 hours ago?"
"so, this might be who we think it is,"-the friend said.
"don't scream may, they'll all come running"-the girl said.
cassie's POV
i could feel my heart in my throat. they caught us! i had to quick think of something
"i seriously have no idea what you guys are talking about"-jon said, with his back turned toward them. he was using a funny deep voice.
they tried to step in front of him again.
i grabbed jon's hand and started to walk out the door. we don't want a scene. the girls followed us. still trying to see if it was jon.
jon's POV
i only had one idea. i wonder if she'll hate me. or..
cassie's POV
we made it to the concierge's desk, and ducked behind the counter. he returned the jacket to the chair which we had taken it from.
"cassie, i have one idea"-jon whispered
"ya?"
i was so terrified for the girls to find us. i almost... i don't want to go through with that again. ever. that's one near-death experience i would not like to have again.
"they went over here!"-may, or i think that's what her name was, yelled. she was so close to the desk i could have pulled her hair. which was a very strong urge i had to overcome.
"cass, just go along with it"-jon whispered to me. he grabbed my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
may walked over to the front door and stepped outside. if only it was for a bit longer. jon and i took off
we only made it half way across the floor to the elevator when she stepped back in. she only saw us. not jon's face. thank God.
jon grabbed me by the waist and i looked up...
A.1. This Can't Be Happening... Ch 20
i hope cass is okay. i felt sick to my stomach. this is all my fault. i should've known my boundaries. i don't deserve to have her. i'm a horrible friend.
"here they come"-katie was all ready to go swimming.
cassie looked calm. and so did ryan. did they even break up?
"are you guys ready?"-ryan called to us.
"i'll race ya to the pool!"-spencer was already at the door.
"loser!"-katie yelled and she chased after him, brendon was following close after her. i held back and waited for cassie.
"are you okay?"
"why wouldn't i be?"- she looked up at me, her face was a little tear stained.-"we better hurry before they get into trouble"
half an hour l8r while swimming
"let's play chicken!"-brendon exclaimed-"i get katie!"
"hey where'd ryan go?"-spencer just noticed
"he went up to the room, he's getting pizza and has to wait there for it"-brendon said-"now who is willing to challenge me?"
"i will challenge you!"-spencer laughed
"you need a partner"-brendon said, katie already sitting on his shoulders
"cass get over here!"-spencer shouted, she was playing volleyball with some little kids
"what!"
"i need you!"
"what!"
"i need you!"
"for what?!"
"we're playing chicken!"
"i'm playing volleyball!"
"play chicken!"
"STOP YELLING!"-the lifeguard blew her whistle
"sorry kids, my friends need me now"-cassie threw the ball to the mother of the children who continued to play
she swam over
"um. are you serious?"-she asked spencer
"why wouldn't i be?"
"fine"
i swam between the teams and counted down "3..2..1.. FIGHT!"
katie and cassie were pushing each other.
"and in the left corner cassie pushes back with much force!" "katie can't seem to take it" "ouch, gotta hurt!" "and spencer goes under!" - i announced the whole match.
"what the heck, spence! what happened!"-cassie was disappointed she was about to win
"i tripped"-he coughed
"you tripped!?! on what!?"-cassie asked. brendon and katie high-fived.
"brendon you cheat!"-spencer lunged at him.
"okay let's have a rematch, fare and square"-brendon compromised
"fine"
"round 2" "katie pushes" "oooooh close one"- i continued to announce the match
"OHMIGOD!" "It's PANIC!!!!"-we heard screaming. fan girls.
brendon and katie were attacked.
"BRENDON!!!" "who's this your girlfriend?"- the girls started to go after katie.
"its spencer!!"
the same thing happened to cassie. i tried to help, but..
"jon! jon! will you sign my bathing suit?!"
"hey guys! the pizza's here!"-ryan came back from the room.
"shit" he turned around and started running back to the room. the girls caught up with him
"RYAN!"-the girls screamed. there were so many of them.
the lifeguards all started blowing their whistles and shouting things that made no difference
"No horseplay!"
"No fighting!"
things got so out of hand someone had decided to call the security in to help. Katie made it to the room with their help.
"where's cassie!?"-ryan shouted over the chaos. my face paled. i have no idea where she is
"CASSIE!!"-i shouted, ryan joined.
just then i saw a security guard pull her out of the pool.
"she's not breathing"-he said, ryan helped him perform CPR.
i just stood there, scared, helpless, silently praying to God.
